Distraction: The Intimacy Killer
By Jeremy Groves
We can love Jesus and still give most of our attention to everything around Him.
We want to hear His voice. We want to understand His Word and experience more of His presence. Yet when we finally sit down to be with Him, we find ourselves thinking about everything we need to do. Before long, we reach for our phones, answer a message, or get up to finish something that suddenly feels urgent.
The time passes, and we leave without giving Him the attention we intended to give.
I believe distraction is one of the things we must confront if we want to grow in our knowledge of God. It can keep us occupied for an entire day while we continue telling ourselves that we will spend time with Him later.
And if we never address it, later becomes the way we live.
Jesus has invited us into fellowship with Himself. That invitation deserves a response.
Intimacy Requires Attention
Picture a husband and wife sitting across from each other at dinner. They love one another deeply, but one keeps checking a phone while the other is already thinking about tomorrow. They exchange words, yet neither feels fully heard. When this becomes the pattern, distance grows—not because love has disappeared, but because the relationship is no longer being tended.
Marriage cannot live on shared responsibilities alone. Intimacy grows when two people turn toward one another, listen, and make room to be known. We can approach Jesus in a similar way. We can remain active around the things of God while giving little attention to Jesus Himself. We may serve Him, speak about Him, and carry responsibility in His name while neglecting the fellowship He has invited us into.
Distraction does not always lead us into something sinful. Sometimes it simply keeps us from the One who matters most. Jesus is not another responsibility to manage. He is the Person we are called to know.
Choosing to Listen
When Jesus entered Martha’s home, Mary sat at His feet and listened to His teaching. Martha became distracted with serving and eventually asked Jesus to tell Mary to help her.
Jesus responded by addressing what was troubling Martha and affirming Mary’s decision:
“Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” — Luke 10:42, ESV
Martha’s responsibilities had taken her attention away from the One she had welcomed. Mary chose to sit and receive from Him.
That passage should cause us to examine how we approach the Lord. We can become so occupied with what we are doing for Him that we give little attention to what He wants to say to us.
Those of us who serve in ministry need to take this personally. There will always be another message to prepare, another person to help, and another need to address. We can spend the whole day doing ministry and come to the end of it realizing we have hardly spoken to Jesus ourselves.
We need to remain at His feet even as we learn to serve with our hands. What He has called us to do must continue to flow from our fellowship with Him.
Knowing Him More Deeply
Paul prayed for believers to receive wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of God, with the eyes of their hearts enlightened (Ephesians 1:17–18). These were people who already believed in Jesus, yet Paul knew there was more for them to understand and experience in Him.
We need that same work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
We can read that God loves us and still approach Him as though He is reluctant to receive us. We can quote passages about forgiveness while continuing to hold someone’s failure against them. We can speak about surrender and still insist on having our own way.
As we give ourselves to Scripture and fellowship with the Holy Spirit, He brings these things to our attention. He helps us understand what the Father is like and recognize where our thinking needs to change. We begin to trust what He has said and respond to Him in faith.
This is why we need to slow down when we read the Word. If a passage begins to stir your heart, give it your attention. Read it again. Talk to the Lord about it. Let Him deal with what it brings to the surface.
You may have planned to read three chapters, but find yourself needing to forgive someone before you finish the first.
Respond to Him there.
The purpose of our pursuit is to know Jesus and become like Him. We need to give what He reveals a place in the way we live.
What Happens After We Hear?
In Mark 4:18–19, Jesus described people who hear the word, but allow the concerns and desires of life to choke it until it becomes unfruitful.
They heard something that could have produced fruit. Other things were allowed to crowd it out.
We should consider what happens after God speaks to our hearts. We may leave a time of prayer knowing we need to make a change. We may hear a message that awakens a desire to seek Him again. But then we return to the same habits, fill our attention with the same things, and never act on what we received.
Distraction can keep us moving from one message to another without responding to any of them.
What has the Lord already brought to your attention? Is there something you need to obey? A person you need to forgive? Time with Him that you keep postponing?
Return to what He has shown you. Pray about it and take the next step. Allow His Word to produce the fruit He intends.
Giving Jesus Our Attention
Recently, I found myself in a busy season with many responsibilities, and I had been letting my time with Jesus slip. As I went about my day, He gently whispered, “Son, you’re distracted.”
He didn’t say from what, but I immediately knew what He meant. I had allowed my responsibilities to take priority over tending His Presence.
I could see the effect in how I responded to people. I was becoming stressed and reactive. I had less compassion and tenderness, and I was sharper with people than I wanted to be.
That began to shift when I again prioritized coming away with Him as the one thing needed. My responsibilities still mattered, but they could not take the place of fellowship with Jesus.
We have a part to play in addressing what distracts us.
If your phone repeatedly pulls you away during prayer, put it in another room. If you reach for social media every time you have a free moment, choose to spend some of that time with the Lord. If you are constantly listening to teaching, take time afterward to pray through what you have heard.
Be honest about what has your attention and what needs to change.
When your mind wanders during prayer, turn back to Him. Bring Him the concern you keep rehearsing. Ask for His help with the responsibility that feels overwhelming. You can speak openly with your Father about everything that is happening in your heart.
Jesus withdrew to pray even as crowds gathered to hear Him and receive healing (Luke 5:15–16). We need to take His example seriously. Our responsibilities will continue, and people will still need us. Fellowship with the Father belongs within the life we are living.
As we spend time with Him, what we receive begins to affect how we respond to people. We become more willing to forgive, more attentive to someone who is hurting, and more available when the Holy Spirit leads us to minister.
This is what we want: to know Him and express His life wherever He sends us.
Our vision is Jesus. Let that become evident in what we give our attention to.
Set aside the phone. Open His Word. Speak to Him about what is on your heart, and take time to listen.
He is worthy of our attention.
Prayer
Jesus, I want to know You. Forgive me for the times I have kept putting You off while giving my attention to everything else. Help me recognize what needs to change and follow through in obedience. Holy Spirit, teach me as I read Your Word. Let what You reveal change the way I live, so that others encounter Your love through me. Amen.